Dynamics (NSFW)

This is a bit of a tease. There’s no story here. The way you get the story is by joining the list (krisripper.com/subscribe). (If you’re already on the list and you see this before 16 December 2016, don’t worry, yours will hit your inbox Friday.)

But.

I thought I’d give you a little taste.

This story takes place after One Life to Lose. It subtly alludes to but does not spoil events in that book and As La Vista Turns. To get the most out of it, you should at the very least have read The Queer and the Restless and One Life to Lose, but the best place to start is on the Queers of La Vista series page here: krisripper.com/qlv.

This is the beginning of Dynamics. It’s more or less safe for work…

It is, of course, Cameron’s point of view.

(Featured image is “You have a mail” by Pierre (Rennes) on Flickr, used under Creative Commons License 2.0.)


It’s not about the mechanics. One of the first things Josh said to me when we started going deeper into power and sex and kink, and I repeated it to myself over and over again as I held the flogger, testing its weight, sensing its rhythm.

Deer skin. It might not be about the mechanics, but there were tools, and I wanted to learn how to use them. Keith wanted me to learn how to use them. I wanted to understand the tools as well as I understood their application.

“Cam.”

No. No. I wanted it so badly, and it was so close. I could almost feel the impact of the falls on Keith’s skin.

Falls. Such a perfect word for the purpose each strip served: to fall, a fall. A rainfall. A waterfall. A fall from heights with an uncertain ending.

“Cam.” Josh pressed against my back. “Baby. Why’re you putting yourself through this?”

I’d never been called baby by someone who transformed the word into a cozy quilt, all solace and sweetness. I turned into his body, grateful beyond measure when his arms wrapped around me. I could hear Keith stand, the rustle of the sheets as he moved. I wasn’t at all surprised when he pressed into us, shrouding all three of us in dark green sheets the color of pine needles in a shadow.

“Is this about the wake?” he murmured. “Because you don’t have to go.”

“It’s not that.” I could go to a gathering at Club Fred’s. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but that was nothing new. I may always dread a large group of people in a small space, even when I recognize the wisdom of attending. And I was stronger with the two of them at my side.

He kissed the back of my neck. “Is it about…what happened?”

“No. I promise you, it’s nothing at all like that.”

It was the third time I’d tried to learn the flogger. I could use the paddle now. Or my hand. Keith’s pale skin was a medium of color and texture, altered and molded by impact, velocity, force.

I could use the flogger on the bed, but its lack of precision drove me mad. And my frustration made me want to pull away from them, hide myself so they wouldn’t be subject to my mood, my inability to do a very simple thing. It was supposed to be simple. Both of them had explained it. Both of them had assured me that my learning curve would be acceptable, and they were not expecting perfection.

“Cameron.” Josh’s breath was hot against my ear, his voice soft like dappled sunlight. “Please tell us.”

I’d heard his voice lower in demand and pleas, but this was different. This was…a request. Sweet and open and willing to hear the twisted links in the chain that made up my thoughts.

I could have remained silent, but I owed them my honesty. “It’s too unpredictable. I can’t do it.”

Josh’s shoulders released and his arms tightened. “You can’t visualize it accurately.”

I’d assumed that being understood** would feel good—that’s how it made characters in books feel, which was as close as I’d ever come to the sensation. But this didn’t feel good. It felt wrenching, exposing, and a little irritating, as if his ability to know what I meant trespassed on some solitary ground on which only I should have been able to stand.

And he was right. Utterly. Undeniably.

“Oh man.” Another one of Keith’s kisses, this time his lips left a warm, lingering imprint right at the juncture of neck and shoulder, where he pushed my shirt out of the way. “That would ruin everything for me, if I could visualize it before we did it.”

Josh hummed. “I was just thinking about that.”

“About what?”

“Playing with Cam’s desire to know what’s coming.”

“Uh oh.” More kisses. “I’m not so sure you’ll like whatever Josh is thinking.”

The truth was this: I’d do anything for them. I’d do anything with them. I would let them tie me down, if they wanted to, even though it terrified me.

Please don’t let them want that. Not tonight.

I trusted them with my body. That had been far easier than I’d imagined possible. Trusting them with the minefield of my psyche was so much more difficult.

“Ohhh.” Josh’s hands moved up and down my arms. “Yeah, you’re scared now, huh, Cam? You know you don’t have to do anything.”

It had taken me a while to learn that Josh—eminently caring, endlessly loving—genuinely got off on Keith’s fear. Or maybe not the fear, the…alchemy of fear and courage, humiliation and desire. All of those things rolled together, underwritten by how deeply he cared for Keith in some way I could only dimly comprehend.

Josh didn’t get off on just anyone’s fear. But right now he was getting off on mine. The implication of that stunned me, and I pressed my face harder into him, trying to hide.

“Hey, boy.” His voice lit up the blood in my veins until I was vaguely throbbing everywhere.

“Please,” I whispered. “Please, Josh.”

“Oh god, I’m so excited right now.” The pressure of Keith’s erection distracted me and I couldn’t help pushing back into him. His laughter, low and heated, seemed to travel across my skin.

I was uncontrollable around them. Uncontrolled. I trembled in their arms, and both of them held me tighter.


To read a beautiful copy of Dynamics, cover and all, join my email list now! New releases, the occasional freebie, and me–what more can you ask for? Check it out: krisripper.com/subscribe.

December 14th, 2016|Categories: blog, free-stories|Tags: , |

Leave A Comment