Okay, I cannot keep looking at teary suicide podcast at the top of the feed. Hm. What do you guys want? How can I serve you?

What’s that? Oh. Excerpt? Well, sure. I’m sliding into the last 25,000 words of this book, let me find a little chunk for you.


Ha. Did you read Going Home? (If not, why not? That sucker’s free! Though one of the GR reviewers felt like it was very lecturey, which it undoubtedly is; readers of The Scientific Method will have already noted my enjoyment of a little therapy with my porn…) Going Home ends with a very unconventional marriage proposal. The wedding occurs–finally–during Home Free. This little bit is fun, but I’m not sure it’ll stick around for the final draft. Well, maybe it will. I like it.




“Will you please go make certain my fiance is ready? If I go in there, I’m going to end up killing him, which would make it very hard to marry him in—” Rory looked down at his wrist, where his watch would have been if he hadn’t given it to Teddy because he didn’t like how it felt under his suit. “Well, soon, anyway.”

“Sure, Roar. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you. I’ll check on the girls.”

Teddy winced. “I’m not so sure you should—”

“I’m going to stand here and drink a glass of water and try not to scream, then. Good talk.”

“Right. I’ll wrangle Geo.”

On the way to the guest room—Roar’s room, though he hadn’t been staying there much lately—Teddy passed the big wedding binder, looking somewhat forlorn and abandoned on the edge of the dining room table.

Hard to believe they were actually getting married. But here they were.

He tapped lightly on the door, then pushed it open. “Geo—”

“I can’t do this.”

Oh fuck.

“What do you mean, you can’t—”

“This fucking bow tie, Teddy, what kind of asshole gets married in a fucking bow tie?”

“You do. And Rory’s not an asshole. Let me see that.”

“You know how to tie a bow tie?”

Teddy grinned. “Unlike you, Geo, I’m a gentleman.” He loosened his own tie and passed it over. “Will that work?”

“Your neck’s more scrawny than mine. Oh. Actually, this does work.”

“Thank god you haven’t been working out.”

“Shut up.”

He tied Geo’s tie around his own neck and turned to the mirror to tug it into place. Then he turned back to Geo to fix his. “So. Today’s the day.”

“I can’t believe it’s happening.”

“Me neither.”

“No, I mean—” Geo stepped away, brushed down the front of his shirt, straightened his cuffs. “No, I mean, part of me literally doesn’t believe this. You have no idea how many hours I spent trying to find a way for us to get married before, Teddy. That we can—legally—is just impossible. It’s wonderful, but it doesn’t feel real.”

“It’s real.”

“I keep meaning to—to thank you. For everything.”

Teddy raised his eyebrows. “What’d I do?”

“Fuck, Teddy.” Geo sank down on the bed and moved to run a hand through his (perfectly combed and gelled) hair, then froze and settled his hands in his lap. “For telling me there was a way to find him. God, Teddy, for coming with me, and inviting the three of them to live here. I have no idea what would have happened if you hadn’t done all that, but I doubt I’d be getting married to Rory right now, so thanks.”

“Hey, that’s a hell of a speech. Guess I should be nicer to you in my toast, huh?”

Geo offered a weak smile.

“No problem. And I should be thanking you. I like having them here. This is the closest I’ve felt to family since I was a little kid, Geo. So we both did all right, you know?”

“I can’t believe I’m getting married today.”

“Well, if you keep talking like that, Roar’s gonna leave your sorry ass at the altar, and you won’t have to worry about it.”

“Is that your form of support?”

“Tough love, buddy. Tough fucking love.”

“Yeah.” Geo gave in and ran his hands into his hair. Where they promptly snagged. “What the fuck is in my hair right now?”

“Your fingers. Dammit, Geo, let me see that.”

It took about fifteen minutes to dampen, style, and dry Geo’s hair to acceptable levels. By the time they came out into the living room Rory was pacing and Maizy was trying to talk him down. Teddy handed Geo over to his husband-to-be and stood back.

Oh my god.

D. D stood off to the side, by the fireplace, in a gorgeous red dress, which hugged her body from shoulders to hips and flowed outward, shifting around her legs as she swayed from foot to foot.

“What the hell did you do to your hair?”


Teddy blinked, startled back into real-time, but he could hardly look away from the deep cherry red of D’s form in his peripheral vision. “I think we fixed it, Roar—”

“Never mind. We have to leave. Teddy, you have your keys?”

“Got them.”

“Everyone in the truck. Wait.” Rory pulled Geo to himself with surprising force and kissed him. Hard. “Fine. There. Now—everyone in the truck!”

Everyone got in the truck.