the dark side – KrisRipper.com

Ripper’s Rambles #20: Happy Loonybinaversary to me!

So I was gonna post this on Monday. And then...I didn't. I dunno, yo. Twenty years ago I was locked up for being a suicidal teenager! Apparently I'm a bit weepy about it. On how we form identity. I am queer, I am gender-fucked, I am an omnisexual loner with a serious literary kink for emotional intensity, but before all of those things, I was mad. Twenty years is a long damn time. I wish I could talk to that kid. Not to say it gets better—I would have spat in the face of anyone who told me that—but to

You can have (sugar)(milk)(gluten) when you pry it out of my cold, dead fingers.

I wrote a blog post, many years ago, called "You can have my milk when you pry it out of my cold, dead fingers" in which I ranted about how I was never gonna quit milk because soy lattes are gross. I can't even imagine drinking milk now. Funny thing, time. I can't quit sugar. And when I say that, I want you to know I've never actually tried. Not seriously. I quit gluten because every day felt like dying. I know that sounds melodramatic, and it is, but only a little. All food hurt me. My brain was fuzzy,